I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I cannot find my penis.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize