i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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