She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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