Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
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