And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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