I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize