Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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