My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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