Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
its liver damage thursday
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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