found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
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He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize