I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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