His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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