Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize