we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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