There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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