worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
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me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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