guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
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She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I need mimosas to revive my soul
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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