A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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