Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize