Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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