"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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