flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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