So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
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there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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