And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
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What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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