You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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