i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
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I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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