there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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