wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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