how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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