I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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