Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize