Pants 0. Shit 1.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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