rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
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