Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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