Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize