I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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