Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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