How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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