I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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