Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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