I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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