people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize