I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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