sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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