i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize