Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize