weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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