Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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