broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize