took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
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Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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